Honeymoon Day 7 – Vistas, Crostada, Vermont and The Striking Inability To Write A Recap With A Full Stomach

Whew!  What. A. Day.  This may have been the busiest day of the entire trip.  We started the day with a quick drive up to the King Arthur Baker’s Store.  This spot is the mecca of baking products.  They had all different kinds of flour, mixes, chocolates, sugars, utensils, appliances, and so on and so forth.  Kaia and I were like, “Damn, we could drop $5,000 in this mug.”  Nevertheless, our primary purpose wasn’t shopping it was to watch a live cooking demo.  The chef prepared a zucchini feta cheese crostada.

We picked up some tips on how to make a tender and flaky dough, and trust, those tips will be implemented when we get back home.  After the demo, the chef put the crostada in the oven for 20 minutes.  We had to taste it, so we stuck around…to do some shopping.  You’ll be glad to know that we only spent $22, when $100-150 could’ve been easily spent.  Go ahead, pat us on the back.  We’ll wait.  Anyway, the crostada was excellent.  I’m pretty sure I found a new friend.

As we made our way north through Vermont, we were awestruck by the ridiculous vistas we encountered.  The foliage, hills, mountains, and rock formations were damn cool.  I tried to take pictures, but they couldn’t do justice.  You won’t get a feel for the depth, the textures, hell even the air quality that you would if you were actually here.  Pretty awesome.

Anyway, next on the list was Morse Farm Sugarworks to check out some maple syrup.  You could tell they were the real deal because they were unlike any “maple syrup” I’d ever had from Wal-Mart.  One even tasted like maple liquor.  Yeah, I know.  Oh so tempting, yes?  We bought a more subtle variation, but if we ever come back I may have to put my paws on that maple liquor.

“We’re not done.  We’re not done. We’re not done. Check this out.”  The day was not over yet, not by a long shot.  Because we can be a tad eccentric, we decided to hit up Liberty Tea Company.  I was a little shaky about going there, because I wasn’t sure it would interesting enough.  I also thought planning a wedding could be a piece of cake.  So, yeah I can be a bit of a dumbass.  Turns out the tea shop was the dope.  They had about a thousand different flavors.  Basic, exotic combinations, isht I ain’t never seen nor heard of before.  The proprietor even had a “block of tea,” which is a huge block of caked tea that mongols used as currency a thousand years ago.  After sampling two hot and two cold teas, we finally made our purchases.  This was another shop we could’ve dropped over $100 in, but we limited ourselves to $22 again.  Yeah!

Ben & Jerry’s. True dat.  Next on the agenda was the famous ice cream factory.  We signed up for the tour, which admittedly had some filler, but was still entertaining.  We learned the history of the company, how their ice cream is made, and got to sample a new flavor that had not hit the stores yet – cheery malt.  I’m not usually a fan of malt, but the malt combined with cherry was right tasty.  (Think the flavor of a cherry Italian ice combined with the middle of a Whopper malt ball.)

We then decided to stand in line for a half hour to get some ice cream.  I went hard in the paint like Charles Oakley on a horse steroid bender.  I got two scoops of Triple Caramel Chunk and one scoop of 7 Layer coconut Bar in a large chocolate dipped cone waffle cone.  That’s so gangsta, prissy chicks don’t wanna mess with me.  Kaia went with a small cup of Late Night Snack.  It has chocolate covered chips and a stream of salted caramel, which actually works.

Our last stop was the Flavor Graveyard to pay respect to those fallen flavors that people stopped liking or never liked in the first place. I think I saw Kaia swipe a tear for Rainforest Crunch.

But wait! The day still wasn’t over because we had to eat dinner.  We found an Italian place called Lui Lui, which sowed the final seed of our destruction.  We started off with some bread and dipping sauce.  Apparently, too much bread and dipping sauce. Then a boat full of buffalo chicken dip with homemade potato chips made it’s way to our table.  We ran out of chips, so obviously we asked the waiter for more bread.  Then we received our entrees.  Kaia got the lobster ravioli, and I got a sausage, peppers, ricotta flatbread.

Halfway through the meal, we looked at each other and went “Uh oh.”  My stomach felt like I was carrying twin toddlers.  Kaia didn’t look to be in much better shape.  But that’s still not the end, because the waiter brought us a complimentary brownie sundae because we were on our honeymoon.  Seriously?!? The button on my jeans is about to fly off and take someone’s eye out and this dude is bringing free food.  Well, we couldn’t be rude so we eat the ice cream and pick at the brownie.

Walking back to the car was a bit of a struggle.  Walking from the car to the hotel was a bigger struggle.  Writing this recap was like running a freaking marathon with this guy on my back.  What a day.  And we still have another week to go.  Lawd’ a mercy…


Honeymoon Day 6 – Kids, Rose Gelato, Dartmouth, and The Innocuous Significance Of 35

Today is what we would call a transition day.  We transitioned from Connecticut to New Hampshire.  But that isn’t to say we didn’t have fun.  After rolling out of bed and partaking in a tasty breakfast of biscuits and gravy, we headed north to meet up with one of Kaia’s oldest childhood friends.  We got together for lunch with her and her family and talked about old times, good times, and hard times.  While Kaia and her friend reminisced, I was paying close attention to her two little kids who were adorable and full of energy.  I kept picturing Kaia and myself having a similar lunch in five years with our kid(s).  I always bring up the notion of us having fraternal twins.  I just figure it’s more efficient.  Of course, Kaia gives me the side eye of all side eyes when I bring this up.  Hey, I’m about doing things as efficiently as humanly possible.  How is that a bad thing?

Sidenote: After leaving CVS to pick up some cough drops, we bumped into a woman on the phone who loudly spoke thusly: “He must not know who the f**k I am.  I’m bi-polar!” You stay classy New Britain! Continue reading

Oui Oui

Sooo, we’re on our way to New Hampshire and we’re listening to a CD to help us speak French. We don’t have a freaking clue what these people are saying. We’re speaking phrases in a combination of broken English and broken French. The people in Montreal are going to LOVE us. To be continued…


Honeymoon Day 5 – Geese, Cupcakes, Westport and the Subtle Art of Negotiating a Small Fee

Today we were on a mission, a mission to find delectable sweets of some kind.  Initially, we decided to find a pie shop but we were persuaded to look for cupcakes.  Therefore we ventured into Westport today, on a cupcake hunt.  As has become somewhat of a daily trend, we promptly got lost. Asking locals for directions was like asking your dog what he thinks about tort reform.  We stopped at a Walgreens and Diallo asked some employees for diections, but none of them had even heard of the bakery we were looking for.  Awesome. We were stumped and, as usual, the GPS was no help. What do you do in a situation like this? You just keep driving until you find something interesting.

We wound up finding “interesting” along the banks of the Saugatuck River. It’s name is Crumbs. Imagine a display case with so many cupcakes that you look like Charlie Bucket with a single dollar bill in your hand. Decisions. When you think you’ve made up your mind, you quickly change it and stand there for another 5 minutes scratching your head. It was impossible to make a quick selection. Continue reading

Honeymoon Day 4 – Moscow Mules, Scallops, Connecticut and The Frustration Of Trapping Woodchucks

Every vacation needs a wind down day.  You can’t go full bore everyday for two weeks, or you’ll end up like a character from The Dark Crystal, devoid of life essence.  Yesterday was the day to chill a little and recharge the old batteries.  The day started off with one last trip to Katie’s Kitchen.  I got the bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich with home fries.  Kaia got…scrapple.  For those who don’t know what scrapple is, just click that link.  I sampled a piece, and to my surprise it wasn’t half bad.  I wouldn’t put it in my breakfast rotation, but it didn’t have me running for the hills either. (Kaia’s note: Hey, it was my first time ever trying scrapple too. It tastes like fried gravy. That’s not completely weird.)

Then we hit the road and headed towards New Jersey.  This drive was immensely more comfortable than the drive to Lancaster, although Kaia cussed out one or four motorists who were acting a donkey on the road.  The closer we got to Jersey, the more “Jersey” fell out of her mouth.  At any rate, the route we took lead us past my old office building in Princeton.  Can’t say I miss working there, but it was cool to see the old neighborhood.  The next stop was Piscataway, as chronicled earlier.  Apparently Piscataway used to be somewhat of a one horse town, so it was funny watching Kaia lose her isht as we encountered all the new establishments.  “We have an Olive Garden?!? What?!?”  Being from a small town myself, I could empathize. Continue reading

It’s About Them Pictures On The Wall

As we made our way up the coast, we made a quick detour to Piscataway which is Kaia’s home town. We saw her old house, elementary school, and high school. But the highlight was a trip to Dominick’s, a pizzeria. Kaia had been bragging about it for some time, and I was eager to try. Upon inhaling both of my slices, I must say that it does represent. Kaia toyed with the idea of never eating anyone else’s pizza.

Now we sit and contemplate what to do next. Pretty sure a nap will be on the menu.


Honeymoon Day 3 – Goats, Peanut Butter Spread, Pennsylvania Dutch Country and the Art of Watching Where You Step

We started the day with the Amish Village tour.  (See picture gallery here.) It was so interesting to learn about what this community was really all about. The major difference between the Amish and “the rest of us” is that they do not let modern technology disrupt their family life. Electricity and all the gadgets that come with it are considered a distraction to family time. They would sooner retrofit their washing machine to run on propane gas or air compressors than risk their family unit. That’s pretty hardcore. It got me thinking about what family values really are about. So much that I had to google “family values” while D and I were eating dinner.

Afterward, we got ourselves lost in downtown Lancaster, where we stumbled upon the local chocolate factory Miesse Candies. They only make the chocolate covered honeycomb candy that I’ve been looking for since I was eight years old. I could have cried. Then I all but talked myself into a candymaking apprenticeship. It hurt to turn that down. I mean, steady paycheck and benefits, or play with candy all day for free? Continue reading

Horse and Carriage. We’re Gonna Rise To The Top

We hit up Amish country today and had a blast. A full recap is coming up later, but here’s a quick rundown: the Amish are cool, meadow tea is a problem, home brewed root beer is a PROBLEM, and horse and buggy carriages are small. There is no way I could fit my 6’3″ 270lb body in one of those. It could only end two ways: poorly and “Oh my God, where are the jaws of life?!?” I’m just saying…

Honeymoon Day 2 – Jamiroquai, GPS, Lancaster, and The Subtle Aromatic Differences Between Cheese and Cow Dung

Day 2!  Oh Day 2, why you treat me so bad?  I thought we’d be best buds for like 24 hours and stuff.  But you didn’t want friendship.  You turned up your nose and farted in our general direction.  So mean.  So very mean.

OK, so today wasn’t the greatest day ever.  It started off well enough.  We had awesome sandwiches and chocolate for breakfast and the outlook seemed bright…until we went outside.  It was raining.  On our honeymoon.  The temerity! As we made our way out of Raleigh, the sky opened up and dumped a lake’s worth of water on us.  We should have known we were in for it.

After that initial outburst finally calmed down a little, we cruised through the rest of North Carolina easy enough.  After leaving the hotel at 11:00, we figured we’d get to Lancaster, PA sometime between 5:00 and 6:00.  A couple hours into the ride, and we were still golden.  Then we hit I-95 in Virginia.  About 15 minutes later, we were members of the largest parking lot on the east coast.  Bumper to bumper. 2 mph. For about two hours.  Oh yeah, and it was still raining.  At this point we began to reconsider the whole road trip up the east coast.  “Isn’t two weeks at home just as good?”  Presciently, we were listening to Jamiroquai and this song came on.  Perfectly captured the moment. Continue reading

I Ate Prag

Slowly but surely, I’m recovering from last night’s food coma stupor. However, it caused me to miss the free hotel breakfast.

This is so not an oops. The Mister and I just happen to be traveling with about 7 pounds of deli meats and cheeses. Most of them are from Patak, the sausage and meat making geniuses in Austell, GA. One thing I’ve learned on this trip so far is that I married a master sandwich maker. I woke up to a smorgasbord of bacon roll, veal roll, pastrami and garlic salami, and provolone with honey mustard and horseradish sauce. Let me just say, I love me some him.

Also, before I passed out last night, we stumbled upon Hereghty, a cute little pastry shop in the shee-shee froo-froo part of Raleigh. Thanks to them, I had a dessert to go with my breakfast. They have this little taste of sin called Prag (pronounced same as the European city). It’s brownie batter tasting chocolate mousse thingy that will be staying on my mind for a long while.

So, um, yeah, Raleigh, we’ll be back.

— Kaia